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Rope Knot

Bennett’s Story

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[editor’s note: Last weekend, I offered a Touch Practice session to a young writer, and following our session, I asked him if he would be interested in writing about his experience for this week’s blog. I’m so grateful that he took me up on the offer! Here is Bennett’s story of his experience in Touch Practice.]

It was a Friday morning. I lay (slightly hungover) in bed, my roommate snoring ten feet away. We’d gone out with friends the night before, and I’d woken somewhat damp with sweat, clutching my pillow in the fetal position. After a quick shower and two Tylenol, I went on Scruff like I do every morning to check if I had any messages, and to check out anyone nearby. I wasn’t looking for sex – what I wanted was mere company. The previous night had been a long one, full of old drama between new friends, and I was beginning to question some of the relationships I’d made in my first few months at college. I felt the need to connect with someone genuine, to tighten some inner-knot I felt had come loose.

imgres“Friendly, snuggly cuddly guy, warm and open…looking for buddies who like to hug and be held,” read the profile. It was almost hard to believe at first – guys on these apps are typically looking for what comes before the cuddling. But a link to the Touch Practice website convinced me, and I could sense what “snugglebud” was offering probably transcended the typical. Also, a cuddle session sounded like just the remedy I needed. So I gave it a shot, and got more than I’d ever imagined.

The hour I spent working with Kevin was at once meditative, rejuvenating, and therapeutic. I noticed at the beginning of our session that my breathing was shallow and uneven – not because I was nervous (I had immediately felt at ease with him), but because I was still carrying so much tension from the night before. Once I established the true “boundary” my body, however, and let it flow into Kevin’s with the standing hug, my breath began to slow and to deepen. By the time we had transitioned to sitting work, I could sense a complete release. Our breathing would occasionally synch-up, and it felt as if each contact point had become a tiny vacuum for negative energy. I could literally feel the stress begin to dissipate.

When prompted at one point to do some “exploration,” it was as if my hands took on a mind of their own – my body felt anchored by its connection with Kevin’s, but my hands felt the need to roam free. Where they landed was not the result of a conscious decision on my part; rather, they were drawn along a certain trajectory by some invisible force. It felt much like playing with a Ouija board – allowing a spiritual presence do all of the maneuvering.

Each transition flowed rather seamlessly, and every new position brought me deeper into relaxation. My favorite position was the horizontal “froggy.” It allowed contact with nearly every part of the body, and facilitated an almost dream-like sense of calm and stillness. It must have something to do with the flow of yin energy touched on in the last blog post

gay2By the end, my body and mind had been spent. The effect, however, was nothing like actual fatigue or exhaustion. On the contrary, I felt fifty pounds lighter. Every ounce of tension had melted, and that inner-knot now felt tighter than ever. My hour with Kevin was much more than a cuddle session – it was a reaffirmation of the potential bond between two brothers. It was a reinstallment of my faith in new friendships, and physical proof of the intangible thread that weaves us all together.

Have thoughts you’d like to share?

Touch Practice is a sacred practice for me, and part of that is keeping confidences sacred. While a name and e-mail address are required to post a comment, feel free to use just your first name, or a pseudonym if you wish. Your e-mail address will never be seen by or shared with anyone. It is used to prevent spam and inappropriate comments from appearing in the blog. I’d really like to hear from you!

  1. Jeff Stroud
    Jeff Stroud03-29-2014

    Kevin,

    Of course from my last post you know I need no convincing that what you offer with Touch Practice is truly transforming!

    Bennetts honesty and approach to what his needs were and are is a practice or knowing that many men would do well to awaken too. Thank you Bennet for allowing your intuition to guide you!

    I sent out a message to my Radical Faerie friends about a need for touch, cuddle, massage, and a few responded. I have yet to create the opportunity to make this happen. I think there is a trust issue, as well as my own fragile state of emotions that is keeping me from moving into this.

    Thank you again for your service.

    Jeff

    • Kevin Smith
      Kevin Smith03-29-2014

      Jeff, I believe you will find lots of kindred spirits among the Faeries. In fact, it’s ironic, because just the day before I met Bennett, I did a Touch Practice session with another guy who identifies himself as a Faerie, and his energy for the work was really beautiful. I do know one thing: when we put out a clear signal to the Universe that says, “this is what I’m looking for; this is what I hope to find,” the Universe answers. It might take us some time to get clear about what we want (that’s the hard part) but once we do, it comes to us. Blessings to you, Kevin

      • Jeff Stroud
        Jeff Stroud03-29-2014

        Kevin,

        Thank you so much for your response. Yes I understand your experience with a Faerie, they can be extremely open to the sharing of the energy.

        Yes I know the Universe is a powerful energy which will place what I am looking for in my path, to be open and receptive.

        Jeff

  2. Rafael
    Rafael04-24-2014

    Kevin:
    I related to your last post so very much. Unfortunately in our USA society we are too focused on sexuality that the simple touch of another person especially another man is frown upon as gay or homo; in other countries that is not the case, men can hug and hang out holding hands, walk with arms around each other or laying next to each other without any sexual thought. After you get pass the erotic energy you can actually lay naked next to someone without any sexual desires but it can be completely relaxing and peaceful. I know that you know exactly what I am saying. I look forward to meet people that feel likewise, sometimes I feel so empty and I would like to connect with a brother in the ways we’ve been talking about.
    Rafael

    PS. Any plans to come to Houston, Texas for a Touch Practice session?