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- BlogDear Reader: Welcome to my very first blog! This blog represents the next step of faith in a journey I never could have imagined ten years ago, a path full of unexpected turns, rich discoveries and shared connections—personal connections to some of you who might be reading at this very moment, as well as a larger sense of shared practice, kinship, and brotherhood with many of you whom I will never meet. What I now call “Touch Practice” began as an effort to explore and heal my own body. I thought of it as something I created, something invented or made up, just for me. I slowly realized that while it was profoundly healing for me, it also seemed to have tremendous benefit for others, and so it became something for “we” rather than something just for “me.” I began to think of Touch Practice as a form of partnership. Next, I understood that something I imagined I had created or invented myself actually existed before I found it—Touch Practice is more accurately something I discovered, something I became aware of rather than creating. I came to understand that this aspect of touch has probably existed in an infinite variety…
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How do I Know If I’m Lovable?
7This week’s meditation topic was so juicy that, like a dog with a bone, I had a really hard time putting it down for any amount of time. I carried it around all week, chewing on it. It really had me by the teeth. How …
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Online Cruelty
Kevin Smith maintains profiles on both Scruff and Grindr. I do that because back when I was first looking to explore a hugging connection, I looked in places where people were also looking to connect for sex. I just didn’t know where else to start. Even …
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Me and My Kid
The practice of sitting with other men in many hours of Touch Practice has sharpened my awareness of seemingly opposite characteristics within myself. There is a part of me that loves to hold other people and take care of them. But there is another side …
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Touch as a Path to Recovery
I, like many men who recover from childhood sexual abuse, began that process by talking to a professional therapist. It took me until I was almost 40 years old until I was ready to talk about it. But once I got started, I couldn’t stop. …
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Resting and Abstaining
I’m halfway through a two-week period of personal retreat for myself which includes fasting, abstaining from alcohol, increased periods of meditation and prayer, and a lower activity level in general. But it includes something I’m noticing particularly because it is so absent from my “regular” …
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The Brilliance of Kindness
Among American men, kindness often seems to be perceived as a useful thing for guys who really don’t have anything else going for them, sort of a consolation prize for the second- and third- prize winners in the race. So if you’re not smart as …
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Consolidating
All living things follow a predictable sequence of opposites: after periods of growth or active change, there is a moment of dormancy or rest, a time when nothing in particular seems to be happening. In human experience, I refer to this process as consolidation: periods when what …
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Touch Practice: Mission, Vision, Values
Touch Practice describes an improvised, ritual practice of non-sexual partnered bodywork for the soul that empowers men through compassionate touch. My mission: to physically hold men as a spiritual practice of compassion to support and nurture physical, emotional and spiritual well-being, safety, and happiness to be …
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Working with Shadow
It’s popular in our culture to think of people in terms of “strengths and weaknesses.” On evaluations of a child’s schoolwork or an employee’s performance, this phrase is often euphemized into “strengths” and “areas for improvement,” but hey, we all know what that code means, …
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Working with Aversion
In Exploring the Energy of Infatuation, I write about ways of working with attraction. We generally don’t need much encouragement to engage attraction, because we naturally seem to move towards things we like. This week, I want to write about the possibilities that open up when …
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