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- BlogDear Reader: Welcome to my very first blog! This blog represents the next step of faith in a journey I never could have imagined ten years ago, a path full of unexpected turns, rich discoveries and shared connections—personal connections to some of you who might be reading at this very moment, as well as a larger sense of shared practice, kinship, and brotherhood with many of you whom I will never meet. What I now call “Touch Practice” began as an effort to explore and heal my own body. I thought of it as something I created, something invented or made up, just for me. I slowly realized that while it was profoundly healing for me, it also seemed to have tremendous benefit for others, and so it became something for “we” rather than something just for “me.” I began to think of Touch Practice as a form of partnership. Next, I understood that something I imagined I had created or invented myself actually existed before I found it—Touch Practice is more accurately something I discovered, something I became aware of rather than creating. I came to understand that this aspect of touch has probably existed in an infinite variety…
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Partnering Each Other: Building Workshops
During the past two years, I’ve taught Touch Practice workshops ranging from a simple 2-hour introductory session for eight, all the way up to full weekend retreats for 24 men. While I am still committed to individual work, teaching groups of men about Touch Practice …
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Working Skillfully with Erotic Energy
12I don’t plan what I’m going to blog about from week to week. Every Thursday or Friday, I go to the mountain and wait to hear Spirit speak, and when I hear something, I start writing it down. That can be a little nerve wracking, …
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Beyond Belief: Part Two
Belief is in some ways the opposite of experience. Belief (confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof) precedes us into our next experience and shapes that experience like a lens. So, a person who believes that black people are suspicious will go into situations with black people feeling, well, suspicious. …
Read MoreBeyond Belief: Part One
This topic is too thick and thorny for one blog post, so I’ll be addressing it in several parts over the next weeks. We men believe many different, and conflicting, things about sexual orientation. Some men believe that to be oriented towards anything other than women …
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To Begin Again
Here we are again, on the edge of another year. As I wrote in my last blog, “staying well,” “maintaining” or “hanging in there” are all utterly unnatural states of being. As I look around the Earth, things are either growing or dying; days are …
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Into the Darkness
With apologies to all of you who have traumatic associations with this period of holidays, this is my absolute favorite time of year. The period from the winter solstice to the New Year has always been full of big ritual dinners with my enormous extended …
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Touch Practice, Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity
Touch Practice has been a fascinating exploration of Great Unknowns for me, and in the course of carrying this practice I have learned many things. There are two areas in particular, however, where what I have learned has completely changed the way I conceive my …
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Safety through separation, safety through connection
Following up on last week’s post—how boundaries work to create safety—here’s a case where “the opposite of a truth is also true.” One of the first things we learn to do to create safety is separate ourselves: we build walls, erect boundaries, withdraw. For those …
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How boundaries keep us safe
In various sorts of body work ranging from clinical, therapeutic massage through even the most erotic types of exchange, an explicit agreement about boundaries—where and how we will and won’t touch or be touched—is one of the ways we create a sense of safety for …
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Follow the Breath
You may have heard the saying that we should never form too firm an impression about someone else without first “walking a mile in their shoes” in order to understand their reality. Well, there’s an even better way to try to get in touch with …
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